Ship the Sherbert to Herbert

Played tourneys today and did really well - played in 5, with 3 cashes, and one win for about 2k.  Im really happy with the way I played - was able to exploit the passive field, yet didn't expose myself too much.  I was really shocked at how little these guys played back at me, and things worked out well, obviously.  Also, I took a crushing beat 5 handed at the final table, that I was able to come back from.  I got it all in preflop with AA vs. KK as chipleader against the 2nd biggest stack.  Needless to say, he flopped a King and I was crippled.  Fortunately, I was able to keep my shit together and stage a miraculous comeback to bring home the glory.  Boo ya.  Im pretty drunk - goodnight!

Merry Christmas!

Brutality

Have to get up early tomorrow for an atrocious double, but I wanted to drop a little update entry really fast.  Poker wise, it was a pretty stale week.  I woke up early on Sunday, so I could play some satellites to the Sunday Million, and on my second try I won a seat in a $10 rebuy (probably at about noon).  I haven't played any tourneys in about a month, so I was pretty excited to have a full day of playing, and particularly looking forward to playing in the Million.  Well, after winning my seat, I decided to watch the Pats game, as I had plenty of time to kill until the tourney @ 4:30.  Well, being the jagoff that I am, I dozed off and woke up at....4:35.  Awesome.  Fortunately,  I had unregistered for the tournament as soon as I won the seat, so I had 215 bucks in tournament credit in my account.  I didn't get to play much all week, but yesterday I buckled down and played what seemed like a long session, but was only 5 tourneys.  Nothing of real interest - played ok, couldn't really get anything going, and lost all my key races - no cashes.

The most interesting event of my week took place on Monday, which is when I had my first Krav Maga class.  Krav Maga is a form of Israeli martial arts that is extremely practical and meant to be applied to day-to-day self-defense situations.  Unlike other martial arts, it doesn't rely on any complicated forms or techniques, and deals with the bodies natural reactions, and essentially aims to end a fight as quickly as possible.  For more info, you can check out the wikipedia article at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krav_Maga

So last week, I had wandered into the Krav Maga school on island and met an instructor named Steve, who happens to be a Nantucket police officer, and one of the nicest people I've met in a while.  He knew both my father and grandfather, and had nothing but awesome things to say about them, and was genuinely excited at the thought of my taking classes with him.  He invited me to come take some classes as his guest - no charge.  Badass.

Well, Monday rolls around and I feel like penis.  I had to work at Shithole in the morning, and had a splitting headache by the time my pointless shift was over.  I toyed with the idea of not going to the class, but realized that would be pretty disrespectful to Steve, (especially after having seen him that weekend and saying "I'll be there!  100 percent!") and to man the fuck up and go.  Besides, it was only an hour session, and the class that I saw (the kids class) looked pretty chill and fun.  Christ, I'm 28 years old, I can kick a fucking bag for an hour, right?  

Well, as soon as I rolled into the class, I realized that I had made a grave mistake.  There were only 3 other students in the class, none of whom appeared to have any qualms with taking human life.  They were all decked out in UFC and Tapout shit, and obviously had been training for many months, if not years.  I was wearing my dad's massive sweatpants and a t-shirt I stole from my old college roomate that said "where's the love?".  I was doomed.  The class started with some standard workout shit (pushups, jumping jacks, etc.) and I knew that I was in trouble when I was already looking at the clock 5 minutes into the class.  The class went on, and increased in intensity, until we capped it off with something called the "Clydesdale Drill".  If you take only one piece of knowledge from my writings, let it be this - if anyone, at any point in your life, should ask you to participate in the Clydesdale Drill, you say no.  

Basically, the drill is this -  one man is tethered with a thick bungee chord that is wrapped around his waste, while another holds him back via the chord.  The tethered fighter must then advance, against the resistance of the chord, to face the other two guys, who are "attackers" with pads, for about 2 minutes.  As the fighter, you're supposed to go absolutely apeshit, throwing punches, kicks, knees, elbows and whatnot according to the instructors commands, all while getting verbally berated by the other fighters and knocked around and shit.  Insanity.  We went through the cycle twice, and I can say without hesitation that it was easily the hardest workout I've ever had.  I couldn't life my arms or see straight.  After my second run, I was pretty sure I was gonna pass out or barf, and basically just willed myself not to, out of fear of embarrassment.  After class, I got to talk with the other students a bit, and they all seemed like good guys, in spite of their love for pain.  One of them was actually a Krav Maga instructor who had taught in the Israeli military for 3 years.  Pretty sick.  Anyway, as nuts as it was, I really loved it, and am looking forward to my next class.

I Run Like Carl Lewis

Went on a pretty sick heater today - won about 6 buyins in under 400 hands, and will be able to post some HH's if fucking Parallels ever gets fired up.  I really really love my Mac, but having to use this program for Pokerstars (and Pokertracker) is kind of a drag, especially since sometimes it takes a few minutes to load up.

So yea, I totally got hit with the deck - was dealt AA six times (in 400 hands - sick), and they held up every time, including once vs KK all-in pre for a full buy-in.  I also felt like I played quite well, and actually tightened up a hair, having a VPIP of "only" 25, as opposed to the 27.5 that I've been averaging.  I can attribute this to not completing from the SB as much as I was, and not 3-betting pre in a few of the situations that I had been previously.  Obviously my perspective is a bit skewed since I ran so well today, but I'm definitely gonna pursue this approach a bit further and see how my results pan out.  Also, I've still played a relatively small number of hands at this level, so it will still be a while until I get an accurate assessment of what my expectation is at this level.  Theoretically, a player doesn't get a concrete portrait of his play until after 60k hands or so, and I'm not even at 10k yet.  Barf.

Oh.  I also played in my first tourney today in about a month.  Got about half way through the field, and got AA all-in pre vs JJ.  J on flop.  GG me.

Todays hands (most are pretty standard - all comments welcome)

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1796885 nice flop call, sir.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1796891 not pleased with the size of my river bet.  i feel i gave up some value

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1796902 - easily the most interesting hand of the session.

Villain opens with a min-raise from ep, I repop from button with 67, he essentially min 3-bets me, which is showing a lot of strength (although at this lvl, some donks are capable of getting cute with shit here).  Regardless, I'm getting almost 3-1 on my call, have a hand that is quite capable of cracking a monster, we are deep stacked (100 bb effective stacks), I have the button, and am most likely the most experienced player in the game, so I take a flop.  I flop open ended, he makes an extremely small c-bet, I call, hit gin on the turn and stack him.  Turned out the guy had AK clubs, for the nut flush draw and 2 overs, which granted is a big hand, but he misplayed it nonetheless - tried to get cute pre, more cuteness on the flop, relieved of his chips on the turn.  Needless to say, the guy went absolutely apeshit, and was just totally outraged that I would have the gall to play my meager 67 offsuit against him.  Yawn.  He played the hand begging to get stacked, so I obliged.

OK, its not 9:30 am - probably time to try and get some sleep :)

Boredom Revisited

So anyway, the only poker I've really been able to play was on tuesday. As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been trying to focus more on cash games, mainly because I'm in a transitional period with my backer. By "transitional period" I mean I haven't heard from him in like a month. So, rather than blast away at more tournies with my roll, I'd rather wait things out and grind some micro cash games for a bit, and avoid the financial swings of tournament poker. This will allow me to pad my roll a bit, see a bunch of hands with little risk, improve my short handed game, etc...

So yeah, I played all day tuesday and got in about 1400 hands (playing 3 tables at a time) of $50 NL hold 'em on Pokerstars. Well, the day was just sick. On one of the very first hands of the day, the following happened:

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1780430

I make a standard repop from the small blind with KK, Villain calls with 56o (questionable, but he has position, we're deep stacked, and at this level, its easy to get value from a deceptive hand like this is you flop big vs and overpair. Also, since I've only been at the table a short while (this may have actually been my very first hand at this table) I haven't been able to establish my nutty image, so he's probably giving me a pretty tight range (AQ+, 1010+, etc) like most of the other players at this level who only repop with monsters (which is not the case with me at all). However, it just so happens that I do have a monster, and he has the kind of hand that can crack it if he flops big. Well, he does flop a big draw, and though I am still ahead on the flop, things get ugly. I obviously can fault his post flop play, as I could easily c-betting AK here and folding to a shove, and even if if do have an overpair, if I don't have a club in my hand, he would be way ahead. In reality, I happened to be ahead and he sucked out, and started the session on a sour note.

I was down as many as 4 buy-ins at one point, and although I was running bad, I felt that I was playing pretty terribly as well, and only decided to keep playing because the games were so good - heres a hand where I made a bit back

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1780432

pretty standard - I flop a set, and decide to play it slow, which I'm not so crazy about in hindsight, especially bc I feel like someone with my style 3-betting pre and not firing at a King high flop screams set. Fortunately, my opponent is too weak to notice, and gets stacked. Any reason why he's getting involved there with 10 7? Putrid.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1780434

The above was another big hand for me - his repop pre is large, which makes me question my call pre, but I do have position, and we're deep stacked enough that I feel my call is +EV, and honestly I may have been tilting a bit from getting crapped on all day, so I took a flop here. Anyway, I flopped huge and stacked him. (Almost the converse of my KK hand, although I'm in much better shape preflop here obviously)

And to finish, here's one of the many bad beats I took and felt like posting:

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1780436

I ended up winning a little less than a buy-in for the day (miraculously) and was more than happy with that. I ran like shit, and was not pleased overall with my play, so felt very fortunate to end the day up. I'll try to put in some more hands this weekend, as well as my Poker Tracker stats to take a gander at.

Boredom

So, I've been back on the Rock for about a week, and I'm already bored as balls. I've been working more than usual due to Christmas Stroll, and haven't been able to play much at all, which is pretty irritating, especially considering that many of the people that returned to the island (and decided to frequent my lovely places of work) were pompous assholes. The following is an example of the horrendousness that I encountered this past weekend.

Setting - Water Street, a charming little eatery nestled in the heart of downtown Nantucket.

Our Hero - Yours Truly, in full uniform and looking to provide his beloved customers with a top notch dining experience for a tidy fee.

Villain - Some little crotch goblin in her mid 40's in jeans and ridiculous thigh high leather boots, desperately trying to relive her glory years as an island pissmop.

'Tis nearing the hour of ten, and I weave my way through shoulder to shoulder jerkoffs to collect drinks for a separate set of jerkoffs that I'm waiting on. I can feel the end of the night approaching, and am eager to begin the usual task of erasing the night from my memory with stiff drink. After much shoving and slithering, I make my way to the service bar, and see my target...two giant glasses of Cabernet, for two giant douchebag customers. Perfect. They are within my reach, but alas! The bottle of delicious Cabernet has gone dry, so the barkeep takes a few moments to open up a freshy. I decide to pass the time by people watching and humming a merry little tune. There I am, peacefully enjoying my wait, when all of the sudden, I feel a slutty little elbow poke me in the back, clearly trying to shove me aside. I turn and see the aforementioned pissmop, and the following idiotic exchange occurs:

Our Hero - "Everything OK?"

Villain - "You're gonna have to move."

Hero - "Excuse me?"

Villain - "I said you're gonna have to move! - this is my theme song!"

(I turn away, ignoring this ridiculous statement)

Villain - "Did you hear me?! I said this is my THEEEEEEME SOOOOONG!"

Hero - "I give a shit, really." (I say without turning or attempting to hide the hatred in my voice)

Villain - "But...I don't think you understand - I HAVE to get on the BAAARR" she whines with all the eloquence of a sorority lowlife.

Hero - "I understand just fine, I just don't give a fuck."

It was at this point that she realized that she was dealing with someone who had little regard for human life, and fled.

Although this may be a pretty tame tale, I feel it paints a vivid picture of the specific variety of douche that was encountered all weekend. As most of you know, I have no patience for whorism of this sort, and although it's not customary to use such vulgar language with customers, I felt I could make an exception in this case, considering my only real alternative was physical violence, most likely in the form of a choke hold or submission move of some kind.


I was actually going to make a poker related post tonight, but strayed off a bit on that insane tangent, so let me grab another glass of Bordeaux and I'll continue in another entry...