Boredom

So, I've been back on the Rock for about a week, and I'm already bored as balls. I've been working more than usual due to Christmas Stroll, and haven't been able to play much at all, which is pretty irritating, especially considering that many of the people that returned to the island (and decided to frequent my lovely places of work) were pompous assholes. The following is an example of the horrendousness that I encountered this past weekend.

Setting - Water Street, a charming little eatery nestled in the heart of downtown Nantucket.

Our Hero - Yours Truly, in full uniform and looking to provide his beloved customers with a top notch dining experience for a tidy fee.

Villain - Some little crotch goblin in her mid 40's in jeans and ridiculous thigh high leather boots, desperately trying to relive her glory years as an island pissmop.

'Tis nearing the hour of ten, and I weave my way through shoulder to shoulder jerkoffs to collect drinks for a separate set of jerkoffs that I'm waiting on. I can feel the end of the night approaching, and am eager to begin the usual task of erasing the night from my memory with stiff drink. After much shoving and slithering, I make my way to the service bar, and see my target...two giant glasses of Cabernet, for two giant douchebag customers. Perfect. They are within my reach, but alas! The bottle of delicious Cabernet has gone dry, so the barkeep takes a few moments to open up a freshy. I decide to pass the time by people watching and humming a merry little tune. There I am, peacefully enjoying my wait, when all of the sudden, I feel a slutty little elbow poke me in the back, clearly trying to shove me aside. I turn and see the aforementioned pissmop, and the following idiotic exchange occurs:

Our Hero - "Everything OK?"

Villain - "You're gonna have to move."

Hero - "Excuse me?"

Villain - "I said you're gonna have to move! - this is my theme song!"

(I turn away, ignoring this ridiculous statement)

Villain - "Did you hear me?! I said this is my THEEEEEEME SOOOOONG!"

Hero - "I give a shit, really." (I say without turning or attempting to hide the hatred in my voice)

Villain - "But...I don't think you understand - I HAVE to get on the BAAARR" she whines with all the eloquence of a sorority lowlife.

Hero - "I understand just fine, I just don't give a fuck."

It was at this point that she realized that she was dealing with someone who had little regard for human life, and fled.

Although this may be a pretty tame tale, I feel it paints a vivid picture of the specific variety of douche that was encountered all weekend. As most of you know, I have no patience for whorism of this sort, and although it's not customary to use such vulgar language with customers, I felt I could make an exception in this case, considering my only real alternative was physical violence, most likely in the form of a choke hold or submission move of some kind.


I was actually going to make a poker related post tonight, but strayed off a bit on that insane tangent, so let me grab another glass of Bordeaux and I'll continue in another entry...